How the Mind Stole Nicky (a Seuss-Pitman Tale)

Just when I thought I was going to really “wing it” through Phase I, I realized that part of me got left behind in the Reception Battalion (note the lag time between my last entry and this one)! I imagine it as sort of my own version of that old Lily Tomlin/Steve Martin movie, All of Me.

For those of you who haven’t seen it (or don’t remember it), the story goes that Lily Tomlin’s character is dying and she gets some Tibetan meditation master to transfer her body into that of a younger, beautiful woman. It doesn’t quite work out and her soul is transferred into the body of her lawyer (who she doesn’t like), whose soul remains in his body. As it happens, Edwina [Lily Tomlin] has control about the right half of Roger's [Steve Martin] body, his soul controls the left. They both struggle to get her soul into the right body, but along they way they find they both have conflicts to solve.

I am struggling to get my (full) soul into Phase I – but obviously I have some conflicts to resolve.
So that Mess Kit I talked about in my last entry needs some additional…Mess…I guess (Oh, boy – here comes the Dr. Seuss version of Break Up Boot Camp):

I daresay, that’s quite a mess!
Why, yes it is- a mess, I guess.
Could it be from all that stress?
More or less, I must confess.

But I diverge…Sorry. But perhaps that gives you, dear readers, the opportunity to see my mind truly at its most authentic (which in lay terms means: ALL OVER THE PLACE!).

Ahh- and that brings me to where I know I need to be to get my mind, body and soul fully into Phase I: THE PRESENT.

Over the years (and years, and years) I have learned that the most important place to be is the present. This has been an on-going struggle for me to achieve. There are, obviously, times when I can (and have been) present, so I know that it is possible. However, I have trouble staying there, particularly in times of stress (oh, yes, I mean like the stress I choose to live in when I am dealing with a break up).

Back to the Mess Kit. And, the additional Mess. Interestingly, added to my Mess Kit this week are two books. One that is required reading for my upcoming Grad School classes entitled, Turning the Mind Into an Ally (by Sakyong Mipham) and the other, Eckhart Tolle’s new taking-the-country-by-storm book, A New Earth. Now mind you, I began reading the first book because it’s a requirement. I didn’t want to believe that A New Earth is a requirement either, but I came to find last night that it is (for me, in the here and VERY now).

I was having trouble getting into A New Earth. A friend of mine told me “you have to read this book” and told me I had to come over to her house so she could give me a copy (this was several weeks ago). So I got the book and I started reading but I was having trouble getting through the first few pages. So, I left it to sit beside my bed with the other I’ll-read-it-when-I-am-inspired-to-do-so books.

I ran into my friend yesterday and she asked me if I was reading the book and I said, “oh, well, you know – I’ve been so busy and, well, I’m actually having trouble getting through the first chapter” (I don’t think I confessed first few pages). We continued talking and I told her I was still having a hard time with the break up thing and that the pain I was experiencing felt very difficult to go through.

“It feels very deep,” I said, “very old. Like it’s in my DNA.”
“Skip to Chapter Six,” she instructed. “Just skip to Chapter Six and Chapter Seven. It’s all about the ‘Pain-Body’.”

So yesterday afternoon, I opened to the Table of Contents of Tolle’s book and noticed Chapter Five was entitled The Pain-Body. So I thought perhaps I should start there. And you know what? She was right. It’s EXACTLY what I am going through. This crazy negative thought-feeds negative emotion-feeds negative thought-feeds negative emotion-feeds thought-feeds negative emotion-feeds negative thought-feeds negative emotion – are you getting the gist?!

Obviously when I am in that nutty-toxic spin cycle, I am not present (this is also what Mipham’s book talks about as well), and I am all about ME. It becomes an icky-ego thing that keeps me separate from the good, healthy part of me, others and God.

This is not new information, but it is the information that I need at this present time and the way it is presented is in a way I need to hear anew.

So I am, at present, going to continue trudging through Phase I and remaining present for it, regardless of how remedial I feel. Maybe I’ll opt for some easy reading, like Dr. Seuss Goes to Boot Camp:

One Phase
Two Phase
Red Phase
Blue Phase…